Swami Tejomayananda

In family life, one plays various roles. A woman plays the role of a daughter, mother, wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law and so on. In the office too, a woman plays diverse roles. The case is similar for a man. Different relationships have different roles and distinct duties. For example, duties towards the mother, spouse, children, and employer will be variously be different.

One must remember, by doing our duty we are really serving the other person. Be it our mother, husband/wife, in-laws, or children. The roles and duties may be different, but the spirit of service (seva) is common. If an action is performed with the attitude of duty, then you bring the spirit of seva into that duty.

Everything is seva - only the priorities change. For instance, if a child is sick, the woman’s role as a mother takes priority over other duties and roles. She will serve the child by taking him to the doctor; shower him with love, and help him recover quickly.

Therefore, even though there are different roles, activities and duties, when they are looked on as seva, they become one. With this perception, there will be no compartmentalization, no conflict.

Adding Value to Action

In a vast ocean, there are multitudes of waves. Every wave has a fundamental and basic relationship with the ocean without which and apart from which it has no existence. Its relationship with other waves is not fundamental; it is only ‘relative’.

Similarly, all of us have a fundamental relationship with the Lord. Our first and foremost relationship is with God. All other worldly relationships are secondary, they are fleeting and relative. That is why, family members are referred to as ‘relatives!’ Just as our relationship with the Lord is eternal and absolute, everyone else, with whom we are associated, also has a fundamental relationship with the Lord. Therefore, when we serve someone, we must keep in mind that we are in fact worshipping God. Then, even though the work and duty remain the same, the action becomes divine and spiritual. It becomes bhakti; it becomes worship.

This is spirituality. This is what we need to bring into our lives. We do not have to do anything special, different or new. As you continue to change your attitude, you gather a new vision, and start becoming spiritual. If an electric current is not passing through a wire, the wire is an ordinary one; you can easily touch it. But the moment electric current passes through the wire and you touch it; you will immediately know the difference! The ordinary wire has now been electrified. If I serve my mother, looking upon her only as a mother, then I am performing the duty and seva of a son. But, if I do it as worship, the same action becomes spiritual. Likewise, an action minus the right kind of attitude is an ordinary action. But the same act performed with the idea of duty, service and devotion, becomes a loving worship of God - it becomes spiritual. Duty itself is a seva and that seva is also my worship of God.

If a chef cooking in a restaurant cooks with the attitude that all his clients are different forms of the Lord, his cooking will not just be a profession for him; it will become a form of worship infused with love.

Therefore, it is the attitude which makes an action spiritual or materialistic, which makes a relationship worldly or spiritual. Thus, there, is no conflict between family life and spirituality.

Swami Tejomayananda belongs to the Chinmaya Mission