By Swami Swaroopananda

The desire to be successful and happy is deeply inherent in all human beings. Everyone has a different definition of success. However, true success is not measured by possessions, wealth or power. It is not measured by what one has but by what one is. The first and most essential quality required for success, in any field in life, is courage. Courage is needed to face the challenges of life, gear for battle and to move ahead

We lack courage because we are afraid to make any changes but fear is not always a negative emotion. The instinct of fear is linked to survival and is inborn in us to keep us alive. A child’s fear of doing something that is sinful or wrong out of love and reverence for his parents is not negative.

Confidence is not challenging people or showing off to others. The biggest bullies in school are the ones who are the most afraid; weaklings will always put up a show. The most vulnerable birds and fish put up a great display of courage but are unable to protect themselves. The most insecure people are generally in the topmost positions. We tend to build our courage on false edifices and so it easily slips away.

Confidence is not denial or suppression of fear but confidence makes us daring enough to face our fears, work on them, eliminate them and reach out to greater goals in life.

Real confidence comes when we recognize our abilities and potential. Often we look at ourselves and dislike what we see. We deny it, erect a mask and, therefore, put up a pretense of confidence. We do not recognize our own potential because we are afraid

In his inaugural speech, Nelson Mandela, said that we are not afraid of our weaknesses, we are afraid of our strengths; we are not afraid of our inadequacies, we are afraid of our capacities; we are great beyond measure but we take great pride in considering ourselves low. In fact, when we accept our greatness we give others a chance to accept their greatness. Contrary to what is thought in spirituality, true humility comes when you recognize who you are and allow others the space to be what they are. In the Bhagawad Geeta, Sri Krishna says:

Let a man lift himself by his own Self alone, and let him not lower himself; for, this Self alone is the friend of oneself, and this Self alone is the enemy of oneself.

Each person is unique and each one has a special quality and if you, as a parent, an officer, or a leader can make a person aware of his inner beauty and finer qualities, you can help that person develop confidence.